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ronp



Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Posts: 159

PostPost subject: For Amy    Posted: April 30 2010 Reply to topic Reply with quote Mark post as unread

Wow, just wow. Intense and touching at the end. Very enjoyable.


Good work.


Last edited by ronp on April 30 2010; edited 1 time in total
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Subject Author Date/Time
For Amy ronp April 30 2010
   Re: For Amy dstar May 03 2010
      Re: For Amy ronp May 03 2010
         Re: For Amy Invidian May 05 2010
            Re: For Amy dstar May 09 2010
               Re: For Amy Invidian May 10 2010
                  Re: For Amy dstar June 04 2010
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dstar



Joined: 05 Aug 2003
Posts: 544

PostPost subject: Re: For Amy    Posted: May 03 2010 Reply to topic Reply with quote Mark post as unread

Thank you!
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ronp



Joined: 08 Apr 2006
Posts: 159

PostPost subject: Re: For Amy    Posted: May 03 2010 Reply to topic Reply with quote Mark post as unread

And now I have to wonder what happens next.
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Invidian



Joined: 05 May 2010
Posts: 2

PostPost subject: Re: For Amy    Posted: May 05 2010 Reply to topic Reply with quote Mark post as unread

Found the story in alt.sex.stories and followed it back to here. Very nice, and the type of story I like. Part of me feels it could survive and benefit from fleshing it out into more of a novel type thing, on a par with Michael K. Smith's classic "Siblings" (and the brief college segment reminded me of Opus One), but it is good the way it is too Smile
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dstar



Joined: 05 Aug 2003
Posts: 544

PostPost subject: Re: For Amy    Posted: May 09 2010 Reply to topic Reply with quote Mark post as unread

Invidian wrote:
Found the story in alt.sex.stories and followed it back to here. Very nice, and the type of story I like. Part of me feels it could survive and benefit from fleshing it out into more of a novel type thing, on a par with Michael K. Smith's classic "Siblings" (and the brief college segment reminded me of Opus One), but it is good the way it is too Smile


Wow -- thanks! I really wish MKS had finished "Siblings"; it's always been one of my favorites, so being compared favorably is a huge ego boost.
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Invidian



Joined: 05 May 2010
Posts: 2

PostPost subject: Re: For Amy    Posted: May 10 2010 Reply to topic Reply with quote Mark post as unread

There were a number of "throw away" character bits that just screamed out for further fleshing out. For example, the scene between Sue and the other girl at the prom... lovely, and heartbreaking. But, what HAS Sue's life been like outside of the bedroom? Has a circle of shy, might be lesbian but honestly don't know yet, teen girls sort of drifted into friendship with her? Being totally focused on Amy she doesn't notice, but also doesn't discourage them... On finishing the story I just had this picture of a best friend following Sue through all of the ups and downs of the sister's love story, perhaps even into the marriage. I also wanted to see said ups and downs, as you skipped over all the pre-Tom stuff in just a paragraph or two.

In short, unlike most fiction of this type you made it too short Smile I dislike endless series that have perfect heroes every man/woman falls for, but now that you have an ending I'm left wanting more of how they got there!
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dstar



Joined: 05 Aug 2003
Posts: 544

PostPost subject: Re: For Amy    Posted: June 04 2010 Reply to topic Reply with quote Mark post as unread

Invidian wrote:
There were a number of "throw away" character bits that just screamed out for further fleshing out. For example, the scene between Sue and the other girl at the prom... lovely, and heartbreaking. But, what HAS Sue's life been like outside of the bedroom? Has a circle of shy, might be lesbian but honestly don't know yet, teen girls sort of drifted into friendship with her? Being totally focused on Amy she doesn't notice, but also doesn't discourage them... On finishing the story I just had this picture of a best friend following Sue through all of the ups and downs of the sister's love story, perhaps even into the marriage. I also wanted to see said ups and downs, as you skipped over all the pre-Tom stuff in just a paragraph or two.

In short, unlike most fiction of this type you made it too short Smile I dislike endless series that have perfect heroes every man/woman falls for, but now that you have an ending I'm left wanting more of how they got there!


Hehehe. I think that means I did it right. Smile
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